Missy Misdemeanor Elliott has been in the music game for decades, snagging Grammy awards and dominating the charts with her infectious lyrics. When the pioneer rapping singer wasn’t harmonizing on her own tracks, she was writing and producing for some of her peers. From the start, it was clear Missy was a multi-faceted entertainer.
Behind the glitz, glamour, and trendy outfits, Missy has faced some troubling times. Here’s the sad truth about Missy Elliott’s life story.
A troubled childhood
Melissa Missy Elliott’s life story begins in 1971. As the only child of a homemaker and a U.S. Marine, her family moved around a lot, from Virginia to the coastal town of Jacksonville, North Carolina. Missy told The Guardian while living in Jacksonville, she and her parents lived in a mobile home community. Although they weren’t necessarily living the good life, Missy told the publication it was some of the happiest days of her childhood. She would spend her time performing Jackson 5 songs outside or putting on concerts inside her bedroom.
While in school, Missy was the class clown who rarely focused on her studies. She told The Guardian she would change all her F’s to B’s to fool her mom. Even though she was slacking off in school, she knew from the time she was in kindergarten that she wanted to be a musician. But when she would tell her classmates her dreams of becoming a superstar, she told Marie Claire magazine they would all laugh at her.
She’s a genius
When she was in the second grade, she took an IQ test and received an extremely high score. Her school thought they had made a mistake, so she took the test again and guess what? She passed as a genius once again. She was bumped up two grades, which ticked Missy off. She told The Guardian, “I didn’t want to be a genius! That ain’t cool.”
Isolated from her friends, she decided to flunk every class until they returned her back to her old age group. But before that could happen, her dad left the Marines, and their family packed up and moved back to Virginia. This is where her life took a devastating turn.
Her dad was out of work and didn’t have any prospects, so the family of three was forced to live in a propane-heated shack. At night, the temperature would drop so low, and her dad would stay up all night, shooing away the mice that were running across Missy and her mom. Her mom told VH1’s Behind the Music they didn’t have any running water and because they didn’t have a bathroom, they would use a pot that sat next to their bed.
Pleading to the stars
Missy thought that if only someone could recognize her music abilities she would finally be able to escape her life of poverty. So she told The Guardian she sent letters and tapes every day to some of her idols, including Michael and Janet Jackson, begging them to rescue her. Missy said, “They never wrote back. I cried every night about that.”
Her parents told her to give up on her dream of becoming a rapper and encouraged her to go to the Army. However, Missy was afraid she would never be accepted into the military because of her weight.
From bad to worse
At the age of eight, her 16-year-old cousin began inviting her to his house after school. It was during that time when the unthinkable happened. Missy told Behind the Music that she was too young to understand what was going on. She said, “But I knew something was wrong.”
Things got increasingly worse at home when her father began laying hands on Missy and her mom. Things got so bad, Missy said she would come home from school, lock herself in her room, and cry all night. Every day she would beg her mom to leave him. She told author Beverly Bond when her mom cried, she would cry as well. She added, “It would hurt me because she was always everything to me.”
Shortly after Missy’s 14th birthday, her mom finally found the strength to walk away. Her mom told her to pack her things in a box and go to the school bus stop as normal. When her dad drove past on his way to work, Missy’s mom picked her up from the bus stop and brought her back home. Missy saw a U-Haul truck outside their house with her aunts, uncles, and cousins packing up all of their belongings.
Missy told The Guardian they left her dad with just a fork, a spoon, and a blanket. She was terrified that he would find them, and she lived in fear for a long time. But he never tried to track him down. Missy later told The Guardian that she would speak to him sometimes and if he needs anything she helps him out, but she’ll never forgive him for how he treated her mother.
She ‘looked wrong’
They were finally away from the man who caused them so much pain, but Missy and her mom struggled for many years. It wasn’t until Missy formed a group called Sista with her three friends and her songwriting partner Timothy “Timbaland” Mosley. They got discovered by a DeVante Swing of Jodeci. He invited them to New York to record an album.
They headed to the Big Apple, and that’s when Missy found out the cold hard truth about the music industry. She told The Guardian that music executives told her she was “too tubby” to be a singer. Missy admitted she was heartbroken. She said, “They said I could sing, I could write, but that I looked wrong.”
With no other options, she decided to perfect her skills as a songwriter. She and Timbaland began selling their songs to other artists and finally landed their big break when they were signed on to produce Aaliyah’s 1996 album One In a Million. According to VH1’s Behind the Music, Missy, Aaliyah, and Timbaland became inseparable from the first day they met.
From a big break to heartache
Missy and Timbaland were on top of the world. The combination of catchy lyrics and unique beats allowed their songs to dominate the radio and awards shows. With her success as a songwriter and producer, Missy finally got the opportunity to release her own music. In 1997, her debut album Supa Dupa Fly, which was produced entirely by Timbaland, brought a futuristic vibe to the music world. It sold 1.2 million copies and was certified platinum, thanks to songs like “The Rain” and “Sock It 2 Me.” Missy followed up that album by releasing Da Real World in 1999 and Miss E…So Addictive in 2001.
Sadly, Missy Elliot’s life story took a tragic turn when her friend Aaliyah passed away in a plane crash on Aug. 25, 2001. “What I will miss the most about Aaliyah is her laugh and smile. She could light up any room,” Missy told Entertainment Weekly on the 10th anniversary of Aaliyah’s passing. “I miss that from her. I’ll also miss recording with her because she wasn’t ever scared to push boundaries as an artist.”
Putting her mom first
As the money rolled in, Missy Elliott didn’t spend her first check on herself. Ever since she was a little girl, she would tell her mom: “I’m going to buy you a house, and I’m going to buy you an elevator in case your legs start hurting.” Missy told Marie Claire her mom would just laugh at her wild dream. But in 2001, Missy held true to her promise by buying a piece of land and building her mom a five-bedroom, seven-bath, 14,000-square-foot mansion in Virginia Beach. According to Redfin, the home has a gym, indoor swimming pool, a home theater, and — you guessed it — an elevator for her mom.
With her mom taken care of, Missy finally decided to spoil herself by buying a 4,400-square-foot condo in Aventura, Florida. According to Variety, Missy paid $1.3 million dollars for the 19th-floor condo with views overlooking the coast.
Vicious rumors about her love life
Being in the spotlight as one of the hottest artists had its downside too. The media became fixated on her love life. Rumors about Missy dating everyone, from Eva Marcille to Keri Hilson flooded the gossip magazines.
The very private entertainer refrains from speaking out about her love life. However, in 2008, she told People magazine she wanted to have kids but would probably adopt as to not have to go through the pain of childbirth. She added, “Maybe in the year 2020 you could just pop a baby out and it’d be fine. But right now I’d rather just adopt.”
Her medical condition
With all of her awards, accolades, Missy Elliott’s life story transformed into her being a bonafide star. Then she suddenly disappeared. She later revealed she was diagnosed with Graves’ Disease in 2008 — an incurable autoimmune disorder. She told People magazine (via The Guardian) she underwent radiation and was prescribed medication to deal with the symptoms, which ranged from dizzy spells to hair loss, a fast heart rate, and bulging eyes. Things got so bad for her at one point she couldn’t even lift a pen to write down her lyrics. And on one occasion, she almost got into a car accident because her foot wouldn’t press the brake.
As she battled with her medical condition, she decided to take a break from her solo career. She explained to i-D that she focused on writing and producing for other artists.
Back in the spotlight
She made her return to the spotlight in 2015 when she was asked to join Katy Perry at the Super Bowl Halftime Show. Missy was terrified. She wasn’t sure if people would even remember who she was. The stress of performing in front of so many people eventually led to an anxiety attack — a disorder she had been suffering from since she was a child. Missy wound up getting hospitalized the night before the Super Bowl. Thankfully, she was able to gather up the strength to put on a flawless performance.
Her performance was nostalgic for old-school music lovers, and it introduced a younger generation to some of Missy’s most popular songs. Missy was right back where she deserved to be: in the limelight.
In 2019, MTV honored the Virginia native as the Video Vanguard recipient. She also performed a medley of some of her hottest songs.
Her legacy
Despite her brief disappearance from the industry and her personal setbacks, Missy Elliott’s life story has taken a positive turn. She’ss now back and better than ever! She released a five-song EP entitled Iconology in 2019. Based on the hit song “Throw It Back,” it’s clear she’s still a force to be reckoned with.
As we look back at the life of a little girl who was laughed at when she said she wanted to become a superstar, Missy has proven all the haters wrong. She’s the first female hip-hop artist to be inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, has written countless songs for herself and other artists, and has sold over seven million albums worldwide. Missy’s legacy as a music innovator is undeniable.
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This is to the fabulous Missy Elliot, I wish I could have helped you, I have Graves Disease and have not taken one pill or radiation. I believe there are alternatives to such destructive things. My name is Dorcas Jones and try Bugleweed, Mugswort, St. Johns Wort and the BEST is Blackseed these are natural, oh and Sea Moss. Please remember how fabulous you are.