Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Season One: Reunion Part 1 – Episode Recap

Part one of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood’s reunion special aired tonight and man, I have the biggest headache from listening to these women (term used loosely) screech and shriek for an hour. Clearly, these reunion specials aren’t about the cast mending relationships nor obtaining closure. But come on, can these ladies string a sentence together without throwing in a curse word?

For example, Floyd Mayweather’s ex-toilet bowl struts on stage and immediately calls Ray J’s ex-assistant a “fake heaux” or something along those lines. It came out of left field and was completely uncalled for. I admit though, I busted out laughing as soon as she said it, but Princess really comes off as an uneducated and tacky wild geese that can’t be tamed. And look at Ray in the picture up above all smiling like he won some damn prize. Smh, men.

  

Broke Beyonce a.k.a. Teairra Mari received another apology from her ex-boyfriend Ray J. But, just as I told y’all in my last recap, Ray and Teairra’s relationship is done-zo.  I will say this though, by watching the reunion, I can see that Ray J has a type.

If Broke Beyonce #2 a.k.a. Hazel-E was expecting an apology from her ex-FWB Yung Berg, she was sadly mistaken. Berg went at Hazel so hard during the finale, you would think that Hazel was the one that betrayed Berg.  He even went as far as to say that he would only hook up with Hazel when he was drunk and high. You know Hazel cried in the car after that one.

She tried to clap back by saying Berg had a fun-sized peen. Blah, blah, blah, blah Hazel! You rode the noodle for almost a decade so gon’ and sit down somewhere! 

The shocker of the episode is that Hazel hooked up with Ray J while she was in college. Ray will stick it in anythang won’t he?

Masika stayed flapping her injected lips and throwing curse words at Hazel and Nikki Mudarris. 

…You know what I just realized? Masika’s lips look just like this baboon’s azz that I seen at the L.A. zoo once. I would post a picture but, I’m sure y’all know what I’m talking about.

Anywayho, every time they showed Masika’s face and her nasty attitude, I kept thinking about how Young Berg allegedly beat her azz a few hours after the reunion finished taping. Sweet justice?

Clearly Ray has mommy issues. Who the hayle does this? And on national t.v. too? Brandy’s brother needs to fix his life.

Masika and Nikki went at it over Mally Mall’s community peen. I used to be on Masika’s side when it came to this love triangle. But, the way she did Hazel in the Berg situation has me convinced that she has no qualms with bussin’ it open for other women’s men. She had to have known that Nikki and Mally Mall were still together, she just didn’t give a crap. She’s the type of woman that thinks “stealing” someone’s man is some sort of accomplishment. 

Oh yeah, did y’all hear the tea about Masika allegedly being an adult actress and a streetwalker? Is anyone shocked by this, cuz I aint.

Lil’ Peen and his forehead wrinkles looked bored the entire time.

Have I mentioned how much I love Moniece? Something about this psychotic broad intrigues me. 

Nikki, for the love of all things holy, please chill with the plastic surgery. I beggeth you.

Somebody (a.k.a. Mona) thought it would be a good idea to bring Nikki’s mama out on stage *face palm* This is what is wrong with the world. Mama needs to leave this chicken fight to the real birds. She had no business being up there, in her Wilson’s leather two piece suit, trying to throw shade at Masika. This was a complete fail and Nikki totally embarrassed her mother by allowing her to sit on stage with her.

These ladies have the worst wigs on national television. Hazel said “fukk it” and just threw on the same musty unit she had on the entire season. 

Part two of the finale airs next week and I will be tuning in despite the fact that I’m already sure how everything will go down. A bunch of “f- you’s” and “dumb b-” will be thrown around, and Amanda and her CapriSun body will show up to crush Lil Fizz’ ego one mo’ time.